Not just a number

I met this gorgeous woman last week. I had been looking forward to meet her, having heard a little bit of her – about how deeply spiritual she was. So when I met her, I spotted her instantly and we got talking.

Some minutes into the conversation, she mentioned not having done a group yoga class ever before and sprinkled into the chat that she was not young, she was old, she was 70!

I smiled at her graceful vibrancy – she had such a calming, yet zestful charm about her – it was lovely to hear her speak.

And then I uttered a unintentional cliche, “Oh! Age is just a number…”

She paused and said, “No. Age is not just a number – all you young people feel that way and say that.”

I immediately felt appropriately chastised, yet warmed up even more to this gorgeous person in front of me who was speaking my language! I apologized for my statement knowing that I didn’t mean to offend and we continued our conversation until she turned to me and said,

“Luvena, thank for you saying what you did, because now I have my answer to that. I know you didn’t mean it that way, but it got me to think how to respond to it next time. Age is not just a number. It is a collection of all these years and experiences that bring us to this age…. and it is not a nice thing to say to someone – that age is just a number – it isn’t!”

“What would be nice for someone to say, instead, would be that they are WOW-ed by the number and all that I had experienced and that when they grew up to be 70, they would want to be like me!”

She smiled at me.

I was falling in love with this woman! She reminded me of my grandmother with her wisdom and openness and yet was so clear in her thought and what she said.

We had a few more minutes before the start of the session and I shared how, although I wasn’t 70, I could relate to it. Turning 40 was liberating, yet instantly put you into a demographic checkbox that built on stereotypes. And yet, introspection had allowed me to embrace everything that had happened in 40 years of my life to fully own who I am today.

40 whole years of living, experiencing life – sometimes half full, at other times half empty, joys, sorrows, challenges… everything – the whole gamut – that made me 40. I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything (or maybe I’d be deeply tempted to trade in some of them!)

So yes, while my attitude matters – it has no age – but experience, well, that really counts!

She was so spot-on, this beautiful woman who came into my life last weekend to nudge me into some conscious & mindful conversation!

Age is not just a number.

And I’m going to look forward to turning 70 and 80 with just as much aplomb!

Of Choices & Opinions

Earlier this week India lost a prominent political leader. Days later, Facebook & Whatsapp was rife with memes and forwards about her life – both political as well as personal. We see celebrity gossip all the time – gossip that feeds media and the ratings, gossip that feeds lunch hour employees and gossip that feeds the conversation pools of those whiling away time with these silence-fillers.

I know because I’m sure I have engaged in something  similar at some time or the other, but a few days ago, in the wake of grief at the loss of a powerful woman, I was astounded at the topics that were being so callously shared across private groups – most of them ruthless forwards that were obviously untrue – images of palatial rooms inside the deceased’s  home, irrelevant images of the hospital staff (Japanese doctors in masks that also were the subjects of a previous forwards some years ago) and worse, an old media story about an illegitimate child and the controversy of personal & private relationships.

So I stopped for a moment just to ponder about why it felt so wrong to me on a personal level. Without adding tags to ‘who’ we were talking about, I just felt that dissecting someone else’s life gave most people the liberty to relieve themselves of dissecting their own issues. I mean, how many of us would even take that path? The path of introspection and analyzing our own sh*t?

And we ALL have enough sh*t to think about – but it somehow makes us feel ‘better’ or ‘worthy’ enough to talk about, reproach and condemn someone else’s choices.

Choices – now that’s a biggie! Our whole lives are spent justifying our choices saying that is what we were left with when we took our pick and in ‘retrospect’ we may choose differently. But that choice, by the sound of all these controversies being populated, seems to be only our own individual right. When questioned, we have the ‘right’ to ask others to butt out and mind their own business, but when it comes to others’ choices, our opinions, judgments and condemnations are free to dispense!

Are we so pure and perfect that we allow ourselves to disregard other people’s choices and their circumstances when they made them?  If it affects a larger population, maybe so, but if it is a personal choice….?

Image credit: https://www.mormonwiki.com/wiki/images/3/3d/Judging_Others.png