Tag Archives: Learning

Not just a number

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Cheerful female models smiling at camera

I met this gorgeous woman last week. I had been looking forward to meet her, having heard a little bit of her – about how deeply spiritual she was. So when I met her, I spotted her instantly and we got talking.

Some minutes into the conversation, she mentioned not having done a group yoga class ever before and sprinkled into the chat that she was not young, she was old, she was 70!

I smiled at her graceful vibrancy – she had such a calming, yet zestful charm about her – it was lovely to hear her speak.

And then I uttered a unintentional cliche, “Oh! Age is just a number…”

She paused and said, “No. Age is not just a number – all you young people feel that way and say that.”

I immediately felt appropriately chastised, yet warmed up even more to this gorgeous person in front of me who was speaking my language! I apologized for my statement knowing that I didn’t mean to offend and we continued our conversation until she turned to me and said,

“Luvena, thank for you saying what you did, because now I have my answer to that. I know you didn’t mean it that way, but it got me to think how to respond to it next time. Age is not just a number. It is a collection of all these years and experiences that bring us to this age…. and it is not a nice thing to say to someone – that age is just a number – it isn’t!”

“What would be nice for someone to say, instead, would be that they are WOW-ed by the number and all that I had experienced and that when they grew up to be 70, they would want to be like me!”

She smiled at me.

I was falling in love with this woman! She reminded me of my grandmother with her wisdom and openness and yet was so clear in her thought and what she said.

We had a few more minutes before the start of the session and I shared how, although I wasn’t 70, I could relate to it. Turning 40 was liberating, yet instantly put you into a demographic checkbox that built on stereotypes. And yet, introspection had allowed me to embrace everything that had happened in 40 years of my life to fully own who I am today.

40 whole years of living, experiencing life – sometimes half full, at other times half empty, joys, sorrows, challenges… everything – the whole gamut – that made me 40. I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything (or maybe I’d be deeply tempted to trade in some of them!)

So yes, while my attitude matters – it has no age – but experience, well, that really counts!

She was so spot-on, this beautiful woman who came into my life last weekend to nudge me into some conscious & mindful conversation!

Age is not just a number.

And I’m going to look forward to turning 70 and 80 with just as much aplomb!

The Learning Gap

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The Learning Gap

 

Teenage girl (12-14) resting head against math equation on chalkboard

Teenage girl (12-14) resting head against math equation on chalkboard

There was a forum discussion a few weeks ago between a few mothers who were struggling with the upcoming exams for their children. The mums were sharing stories of frustration  about the children’s aptitude, skills, learning abilities or challenges, etc… and in other words, completely offloading their stresses of managing the competitive education system that their offspring are now navigating.

The examinees in question, were not University level, but primary and middle school students. I was one of the mums expressing frustration and the expectations these days and the heavy load on the shoulders of school going children v/s them enjoying their childhood and actually learning. Somewhere along the line, our children and our parents have bought in to the belief that a preconceived education seems to be more important that arousing the natural curiosity and learning inquisitiveness of our children.

Before we go further, we’re talking about the Indian Education System….

OK… so.. my oldest is 13 and is a natural smartie. He computes mathematical word problems in his head. His logic is sharp.. like his wit and dry humour. He solves speed cubes.. all the time! He plays soccer, basketball, table tennis and is an athlete and swims. He is an ace gamer (PS4)… but …he hates to write. His letter-writing and essays are blunt and succinct, just the way he speaks and, well,  he hates it.

So guess what happens when we move to India and enrol him into an ICSE curriculum, Grade 7?

He struggled… horribly…

His teachers couldn’t understand WHY someone with so much ‘potential’ and ‘brilliance’ would do so badly in his semester exams. Why would someone NOT want to write when their grades depended on it?

By now, being an Indian mom, who’s alternative enough to want her child to succeed, but Indian enough to worry about graded progress, I was stressed… and   I took it out on my son.

Badly.

I thought I had a problem with my son and that he was simply demonstrating apathy. He couldn’t care less. So I thought it best to seek counselling before I lost it, or my son suffered. Turned out, there was nothing wrong with my son for being a very gifted child…. Apparently, the school that he was in, although a very good school, was not equipped to cater to his requirements. He was a square block in a triangle slot! Wrong fit!

As parents, we were made to interview a new set of schools that had the facility and training to provide the stimulation &  add to the progress of such children and we finally settled him into an IB curriculum, which is more challenging, yet, brilliantly suited for the modern age!

The year has unfolded so beautifully, that after the initial months of confusion and getting to understand the new requirements, he has ended the year with a brilliant project on  product development and a financial literacy piece on starting his own business.

Meanwhile, ICSE is still battling to complete the ‘portions’ from the text book regardless.

Why the story? The story… because our children today are being rigorously drilled to shed their individuality and succumb to being moulded by a system that can end up demoralizing an entire generation of children if they do not step up to meet or beat the competition.

If we look at the age-old curricula that some parents seem to be strong proponents of, we see a system that has changed very little in the past 50 years. Text book covers may have changed, but the content is fairly consistent. Questions asked are still the same and the worst bit, teaching styles have not budged.

As a country, we have shed our traditional method of learning by inquiry & self-inquiry to  a more dogmatic  system of learning by rote or following the learning that someone, somewhere decides that a child that age ‘needs’ to learn. The emphasis sitting on being ‘educated’ that the application of one’s learning & life-skills.

Teachers are being trained & groomed to meet the needs.. but more often than not, the training is to justify the teachers being kept abreast as opposed to the actual application of the training in the classroom.

My point, as a mother and a teacher, I fail to see how the traditional system is arming our children to face the requirements of tomorrow. One mother (in that forum), was adamant on insisting that the system worked perfectly – hadn’t it been in place of so many decades??

*ziploc-my-mouth*

Hello!!? Decades ago, we had a set of foundling technology. It worked perfectly well for those times… just like how the dial-up net connection worked perfectly well till about 15 years ago… But all of us, including pro-tradition-mum, are now aiming for 4G on our phones!!

But, when it comes to modern kids,  no!! Because it worked for US, our children will HAVE to make it… after all, as their parents, we know best!!… Or do we?

I had my major lesson in humility when I was made to understand that people (not children) have different learning styles that went  beyond the basic visual, auditory, kinesthetic. And after all the years of research into  how our brains and wired, how our interests are diverse, etc, we still refuse to budge from the notion that academic excellence is the way to forge ahead in life – regardless of the countless examples of  people who have spent years studying towards a medical or engineering degree, to dispassionately groan and mumble through their ‘career’ to eventually foray into a more fulfilling aspiration – and eventually being of service to the society.

Bottom line is our parents are inundated with an alternative way of thinking and thrown into quandary when faced with a traditional, straight-faced system. This state of limbo creates a new generation of uninterested, clones – a breed of children with knowledge but no wisdom, words but no texture, text but no skills. What are we creating for them?

And heaven forbid if they ‘Fail’! The immense load of shame not to mention the family-face that has been shattered because of the F grade. No no… let’s not even go down that path! Too painful to even think!

Here enters the new stream of alternative schooling – home-schooling even. I had first heard of it some years ago before I became a mom, and much before all these stressors were a daily part of my existence. I am an alternative thinker, yes, but I also am practical enough to know that home-schooling is not something I, as a parent, would be good at helping with. And my children do like the socialization of schooling… but back to the point, this whole new system is now creating options and ripples of discord in the parent & education circles.

While some parents and children, experience hope &  a fresh opportunity to bring a new platter of choices for their children, others are quick to wrinkle their noses and frown upon it. I was quite disappointed at one mother’s immediately derogatory remark that said, “The system works perfectly fine.. if your children cannot handle it, homeschool them, or put them in an alternative school!”

Her judgment was harsh and the insinuation pretty obvious – homeschooled students are lesser citizens, lower qualified, or worse, ‘slower’… When growing experiential feedback (and current research) has shown that alternative schooling is producing a stronger skill set, enhanced learning, and improved EQ (Emotional Quotient) as well as IQ as compared to only IQ (or even reduced IQ otherwise).

So, where do I stand?  I stand to truly appreciate the value of an alternative perspective. Seeing our children as benefactors of the world tomorrow. I am edging towards losing my faith in the current traditional education system, but I am also hoping that by keeping my children in it AND providing them with ample opportunities for holistic growth through alternative activities, I may do my part of raising 3 children who will be of adequate service to the planet tomorrow…. and my hope is that they may encourage a change by being it themselves.

Image Credits: http://kindercarepediatrics.ca/