At the 75th Golden Globe Awards, Oprah delivered a powerful speech after accepting the Cecil B. de Mille award. I was moved beyond words. Others were too.
I watched the video clip of the speech many times over the next few days and every time I felt the same way. After the clip, I was always left with a myriad of thoughts going through my head, tears in my eyes, a feeling of restless frustration at the injustice of it all and of the enormity of work yet to be done.
But all these feelings were on the inside.
I knew a blog was in the making, but oddly enough, an hour or so after the video, I would tend to forget what my personal reasons were. What was shifting inside of me that I was unable to crystallize into coherent thoughts? Why was the issue so stormy that it had the effect of blowing all my rationale and thoughts into a frenzy?
I guess the proximity to #metoo was still too close for comfort. Yet, my own non-negotiable value was calling me out.
Authenticity!
Yes, here I was watching Oprah speaking her truth and urging us all to speak our truth. Yet, here I also was feeling like a soda bottle that has been shaken until the fizz is pressing against the bottle cap ready to burst through.
Yep… too close for comfort indeed.
If someone like me, who usually speaks her mind, has a part of her that second guesses (sometimes) to speak her truth, then what would be the harsh reality for a whole lot of us who don’t even know that there is a truth worth speaking?
Or that there is an truth at all?!
Harassment, violence, domestic abuse, gender disparity and unequal pay are just a few situations, but when situations turn into circumstances, then the truth becomes more fluid – and malignant. And it is a truth all of us are privy to…
Because at the end of the day, it is just a blatant misuse of power – in the hands of the wrong people. Power, that is misappropriated and misused to cause pain, suffering and indignity.
I know it – because I have been there. I know it – because it was my story. I know how brutal the pain gets because we feel overwhelmed with the shock of it all, yet, the misplaced power puts us in a place of doubt, insecurity, being unheard… or worse, not being important enough to be heard.
So hearing someone’s truth is the bigger need at this time. Taking time to listen, taking time to act, and taking responsibility for the situation as well as the circumstances.
Quoting a line from a book I just finished reading, The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Divakaruni Banerjee, in reference to why the bystanders, members of her own family, her in-laws, refused to step in and help Draupadi when she was assaulted in public by Dusshasana…
“Bheeshma thought too deeply about the laws of men. It paralyzed him. He wasn’t sure whether you were already Duryodhan’s property – in which case he had no right to intervene. But sometimes one has to drop logic and go with the instinct of the heart, even if it contradicts law.“
And that summed up my deepest question to those who didn’t step up to a duty that I had come to expect of them. Perhaps expectation is misplaced then, but a sense of love, bonding, attachment and concern all bring along expectations. So when laws and rules are upheld over an instinct of the heart – betrayal is all that is left to feel.
So yes, it firms my resolve a bit more at the end of it all – I shall continue to speak my truth to the audience that chooses to listen or not, act or not, regardless. And I shall also be open to listening… and inviting those around me to listen.
Because it is time to shift into a space of speaking and listening … and being safe.
So for misplaced loyalties and the power to inflict pain… your time too is up.
Luvena's World 