A few days back I was in an auto at the traffic light when I noticed an attractive woman waiting at the bus stop. She was dressed simply in a sparkly salwar kurta with a veil draped over her head – minimal makeup – but neat and elegant. I found her beautiful.
She was alone, waiting for the bus – she kept looking to her right to see if the bus was in sight. And I was just observing her.
I took in her sharp features – the slant of her eyes, her straight nose, the nose pin… and her absolute unawareness of my attention. If I could, I would have called out to her and told her that she was beautiful – but that could have gone either way, couldn’t it?
I could have either made her day or freaked her out!
Two months ago when I was leaving my old apartment, I was pushed to angry & frustrating tears at the thought of being taken advantage of. Angry at a system and society that allowed people to continuously abuse and not step up to support the survivors.
I was furious at the trauma I carried and also just simply reluctant to pause and look at the cracks I had that were clearly not self inflicted.
Those tears still came, again, as I was sitting in the auto and looking out at the passing road and people.
As the auto passed through the busy toad, I was vividly aware of three people, three pairs of eyes – strangers – who held my gaze in that microsecond that it takes for a vehicle to pass by. Three sets of eyes that looked deeply at me and recognized my pain. Regular folks – someone near a garage, one man sitting near a paan shop, another on a two-wheeler just trying to get into the road in front of or after my auto passed.
Each of them, looked AT me – looked into me… and saw me.
I can’t remember who they are, but I will never forget the recognition and acknowledgement that I felt in those fleeting moments. One of human compassion and understanding without ever knowing what the cause of those tears were.
Yet, grief and sorrow are universal – as are joy and delight! And they saw that. They may never know how they held space for me that day, but they did. It was that unspoken thread of human connection – nameless angels maybe – sent my way just as a talisman of hope and solidarity.
Maybe I was that to the woman I was watching. Who knows?
What does it mean to just be?
Maybe some days we do need to openly and genuinely give that compliment to a stranger for their beautiful smile or heart lifting laughter…
Sometimes we just have to meet their eyes and reach out to their soul…
And still, on other days, maybe we just send out a wish for goodness and fortitude because, how can we ever know?
But we still can relate, can’t we?
All my love,
~L
Luvena's World 